Thursday, 26 September 2013

How to Turn a Setback into a Comeback


Life happens. Situations, challenges, setbacks, let downs come away all the time. In this life there are those things we try and cover ourselves against, with insurance covers maybe, emergency plans, plan B’s but there those not in our control, a divorce, death, job loss, accidents,,,,,,


As I seek answers on how to handle my setbacks, I realize so much is actually said on this topic, because setbacks are an important part of our life. When things go against our expectations the best way to look at them is as setbacks not failures, because then it means we are ready to start again, its an ongoing story taking a stop mid-way either to change tact or gather new momentum, we are ready to re-evaluate , and we refuse to accept defeat or call it a failure.

My biggest setbacks have been health concerns and career paths, and when some things happen, like being diagnosed with a chronic problem, the river that is our life changes course. In most occasions we may get into pity mode or label ourselves as victims. You realize such a reaction gets us stuck in the problem instead while in the real sense what we need to do is look at the big picture and deal with life.


With the realization that life is going to present many setbacks my way; I am choosing not to be reactive rather deal with the situations. So when faced with a set back always remember to:

1.       Get beyond the drama triangle
Do not agonize too much over what has already happened, most times than not you have very little or no control over the situation. Assess the situation completely making sure to take responsibility only where you should. Do not play the blame game, learn the lessons, let go, stop the self judging and experience what this situation is transforming you into positively.

2.       Accept the new you
When setbacks come our way, we yearn for the status quo, we want things to be the way they used to be, we want our old self. Fortunately that cannot be the case, the bruises, the heart aches, and the disillusionment heal into change, bringing in a new wiser you.

3.       Express your emotions
When bad things happen to us, in most cases we want to act brave and wear masks of strength. Its good to feel the pain, bitterness, anger, shame, it’s a painful situation hence when overwhelmed cry, vent not allowing these emotions to rule your life, but making sure your energy is not used to repress them rather used creatively to propel you forward.

4.       Take the lessons boldly
There is always a lesson. Learn the lesson and apply it, this means taking action. Acknowledge that you have learned something, the lessons may have come in the most unprecedented way but I believe they are the best lessons encompassed with the joy of knowing you are growing to a better you.

5.       Move on
Failure becomes permanent if you quit. Setbacks and let downs should only be learning experiences propelling us to achieve out intended objectives. If one path doesn’t work, pursue a different one until you get right. If the original destination is not feasible set new goals and pursue them.

Having several D.I.Y (do it yourself) strategies to approach life situations in search of solutions makes this journey worthwhile. Of course we should always acknowledge that some times we will need help, we will need expert guidance; but you realize the need for solutions must come from within so that whatever help ,or advice we are given then makes sense and there is inherent motivation to use it. 

It requires time and effort to handle setbacks the right way; but the most important thing is establishing a course for ones life. Hence do not live with regrets, learn form your mistakes and setbacks. Success is not easy; they say it’s a journey not a destination. Once one goal is achieved another has to be set on a higher level.

“All force strives forward to work far and wide
To live and grow and ever to expand;
Yet we are checked and thwarted on each side
By the world's flux and swept along like sand:
In this internal storm and outward tide
We hear a promise, hard to understand:
From the compulsion that all creatures binds,
Who overcomes himself, his freedom finds.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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